Author: adminjw

sweatshirt vintage mens wear

i have a lot of vintage gear, this is probably the first time i’ve written about it, though. i’ve bought vintage for years, since I first visited Manchester with some friends and scoured a corner thrift, i bought a black nascar t shirt i’ll never grow into, and a green olympic sweater i wear regularly, and has been stolen many times by my sister many years ago and by my girlfriend right now. I write this as I sit and admire a purple Russell sweatshirt that just arrived today, size Large and quite nice in hue, a gentle fade, boxy fit.

I’ve had an interest in fashion since early social media days really, when menswear subreddits and /fa/ was fresh media. They were small, micro influencing was big, I can still remember r/streetwear in 2016. Over time, niche comes and goes, curiosity and interest takes you down different rabbit holes. Instagram led a frontier of curators and sellers for all interests. I watched American fashion culture and the lifestyle they had. I’d shop baggy jeans on Depop and skateboard in the library carpark, listening to BROCKHAMPTON in one earbud. I shared an interest in niche fashion with my girlfriend at the time, as well as college friends and online moots. Time passed and trends changed, I bought Rick Owens items and sauntered in my statement swag. I dressed ‘avant garde’ and dyed my hair black, going to see The 1975 in Manchester and thinking Matty was so cool. 2018, I think.

I think I grew to care less about the subcultures as I worked more, having less time to spend on these endevours for fashionistic nirvana, I watched less content, spent less time online, and within this time I settled into the style that I continue to indulge in, the one I can’t quite describe.

I’ve picked up a special selection of clothes over time, probably too much to recount, theres jeans, Japanese and American denim, Levi 501s, 505s, all with unique fades, heelbites, knee holes, patchworks. Work pants and fatigues for work and casual, all used and beautiful in shade, style, utility. Leather jackets and boots, unique and my own, cared and kept clean. Different styles of A2 and N2 USN jackets, work jackets, one from the 50s I’m sure. Plaid button up shirts and countless Tshirts, aged, single stitch, faded, novelty, some with holes… Russell Athletic, Champion, hoodies I prefer and a few joggers too, all aged, lovely coloured,  and well fitting on me. Accessories like my glasses, a vintage pair of 1970s YSL gold plated frames, delicate but bold. My wallet, a beautiful brown leather with patina and character. I have a few nice watches, Omega, and Lacroix, darling. Gold and brown, both from my dear Grandfathers. My desire for preloved extends beyond clothes, but that’s another post.

I don’t want to know how much I’ve spent on clothes my whole life, but it’s a hobby I’ve come to treasure and nourish slowly. I’ve given things to my friends and family, traded and gifted. I swapped a pair of fake Yeezy slides for a plant cutting once. My sister has at least 2-3 sweaters or hoodies that didn’t fit me great.

What you wear defines who you are, and how you act. It defines your confidence, your intent, your status or your attitude. Fashion has existed as long as social constructs, and should be viewed as such.

New in

I completed a small set today, after another auction for the matching pearl necklace. Nephrite (left) and Coral. Rice pearls and gold, 9ct. 18” for me and 16” for hers.

ebay

I won a bidding war yesterday, and bought these 2x necklaces from charity. It’s 9ct gold pearl and nephrite, and the other is tumbled stone. I only wear my gold chain at present, so it will be a gourmet option.

NDERF

I’ve been a reader of nderf.org for a long time, and I can’t quite recall where I first learned of it, no doubt when researching NDEs in general. If you’re not in the know, it’s a blog with stories and research, and to read some of these write ups is exceptional.

Take these submissions as 100% stories from the internet, some have a clear religious bias; but to read these tales brings a feeling of oneness in the human experience, and some of the similarities across the 1000s of stories is remarkable.

I have some favourites saved:

I only just found Sandi’s now, while browsing the archive of the exceptional, and quickly placed it top of the list.

I implore you to read one or more of the submissions here, and see for yourself the wonder and the scale of these experiences. It becomes easier to draw your own conclusions and correlations between the lines, and see what commonalities or topics are always present.

I’d like to close with an excerpt from Sandi’s story, words that struck me:

 

After a great deal of time exploring, seeing beautiful and wonderful sights, we stopped in space near a nebula. Nebulas are even more beautiful than they appear in photos.

‘That is the answer to your question.’

I understood that everything that we do here on Earth, all that we are, all that we experience, allows creation to exist. Every beautiful thing, every wonderful being and creature, whether on earth or in any universe, relies upon people who are on the extremely rare places like Earth.

The Great Intelligence (god) is a paradox. It is completely loving and fully unlimited. Which by the definition of paradox, means it is impossible? It cannot be limited only to love; it cannot be limited to only being unlimited; or it is not unlimited.

Earth is a place where the unlimited becomes limited; where the singular becomes many. Here, it can know community and loneliness. It can know heartache and hope. It can know all which an unlimited being of pure love cannot. It can conceive and perceive evil; which in truth it cannot do this either. To solve the paradox, it must experience helplessness and limitation and all as it is Real. In this place, it is all so REAL.

So what is free will? Free will is the option to come here to help solve the paradox of ‘god’. To be all that we are not, so that everything wondrous and joyful may continue to exist. So that love itself may continue to exist. So that the Unlimited is not limited to being only unlimited.

Why are the answers always, ‘simply to exist’ and ‘to choose love’ and ‘to learn how to love’? Because all you need to do, to solve the paradox, is to exist. And as we exist here, each time we choose love, we expand the universe. Love is life’s longing for itself. Despite the reality of what we live, even the darkest souls among us cannot help but to reach, to yearn, and move towards goodness and towards love.

For love is the true nature of who we are. And when we experience horrible things, the question ‘why’ comes to mind because it is the central question of love, life, and of this world. The answer is ‘so that all things might continue to exist.’

Every soul chose to come here and to suffer because of love. Each soul loves the universe, loves life, and loves this world and ALL of the worlds. Each soul loves ALL of the people so immensely and intensely that they chose to come here so that all the universes may teem with beautiful, joyful LIFE.

Every creature that I saw, acknowledges that your life gives them the gift of life. And when each soul goes ‘home’ after they die, they will know the rewards of their own gift, too. The ‘reward’ for their sacrifice will be joy, love, and feeling incredible, wonderful, beautiful joy at the LIFE and the LOVE everywhere in the universe.

When you go home, you meet your own soul. You willingly came here to forget yourself. You willingly came here to save every beautiful and wonderful thing. By suffering what ‘god’ cannot, you give the gift of life.

create

i yearn for a creation that spans eras of me, a memoir or archive that reflects my ongoing spirit. to detail and note the growth of my being and ability. i like to think my paintings are almost snapshots of a time, i can feel and know the energy that went into them. i have a desire to create something new now, with grandeur and scale. paintings come to mind, but objects and sculptures are tempting.

joie de vivre

i like to think it’s what i live for, the enjoyment of life. to pursue and relish in the endless stream of whimsy and joy the world can offer. it can often feel sisyphean to be this way, amidst struggle, stress, or sorrow. yet it would be a shame to pass up this short time we are granted on this plane. i do find enjoyment, wonder, and love in everything, it’s probably what i’m most proud of. it’s a romantic world if you want it to be.

time is a healer

how does one ever move beyond the sentimentality of it all, the potential that every decision, every moment lived, no matter how big or small, may very well be a pivotal moment of a change in fate, yet in the moment you are none wiser.
i think fondly of the people i’ve known, the interactions and experiences past; for they shape me to the man i’ve become. my conscience sometimes weighs heavy with few regrets, about how i could have communicated better, to my friends and loved ones. i reflect on my decisions and understand that i can only strive to improve this, and help myself to not make the same mistakes, and to speak up earnestly.